You called me yesterday and asked: What would you say to me that would help me prepare for kid #2? I think you used the word wisdom: What wisdom do you have to share with me?
Bonus question was: What did you do to help Sadie in preparation for kid #2
Here are my thoughts on this, an incredibly fun and courageous line of examination.
A quick note on memory:
Without having written the thing down in the moment, discount what I say by something like 30 – 50% to adjust for my ego and laziness.
And so it goes.
What did I do to help Sadie as we went into labor for baby #2?
I think I was most effective with helping sort the house:
- Who’s going take Shepherd when if have to run to the hospital suddenly?
- Coordinate my Mom coming up.
- Account for the dog.
- Pack the car.
- Put the second car seat in the car.
- Etc.
I’m hoping I was taking the lead on putting Shepherd down each night, too.
I wish I had a more emotional answer, but having a scheduled c-section took a bit of the mystery away.
Alright, you’ll do all those bits very well I’m sure.
So, you asked about wisdom.
What wisdom do I have to share with kid #2 coming?
Can I jump forward to kid #3?
I was in a hard place with my job at Rockmont when Greta came in March ’22, and then summer camp came shortly after, so I was lacking in what I gave. That’s a bummer, but I think it’s the truth.
With Goldie, kid #3, I’ve been absorbing everything in a way that I didn’t with #1 and #2.
I haven’t discovered why exactly, but my best guess is something like: Because #1 and #2 are older now, and #3 might be the last, I can see all of this for what it is: precious.
Precious is something a grandmother from Northeast Mississippi says when she sees her grandson’s 3rd grade school pictures.
I mean ‘precious’ to say:
Summon all that you can to enjoy precisely what’s in front of you.
This is the wisdom I have. It’s knowledge too, but something this true ages into wisdom pretty quickly I think.
How this helps you help Lisle? Hmmm. Hopefully by way of you being full and hopeful and good.
I wasn’t when Greta came. Things weren’t horrible with me, I was just in the least strongest (bad phrasing but it’s what I mean) mental state that I think I’ve been in my life and so my ability to treat it as precious was weakened.
This is all so wonderfully complex.
And I’ve always been a ‘take-it-as-it-comes’ sort of person.
I think I’ve parented roughly the same way I’ve trained for running stuff: just feel it out – no real training plan.
Where I would adjust this approach, and think I have with kid #3, is trying to remember as often as possible that to make it precious I have to try really hard. Like, ‘Andrew! Put the computer down and get on the floor with Goldie, you son of bitch.’
I’m not all that worried with trying to tell you the exact right thing that I want to tell you.
I’m not even totally sure what that would be other than what I’ve said. So what a gift you’ve given to me to be able to reflect!
It is all so beautiful. You know that.
My guess is, your questions to me are a way of searching for what’s already inside of you – the thing(s) you want to do and be with kid #2.
And as we know: by seeking, you shall find.
Super stoked for you and Lisle and to can’t wait to meet baby #2!