Perhaps only in anticipation, or in retrospect, is this a useful way of thinking, but here it goes:
Very important periods of time in one’s life will end and be thought of as not so important; not unimportant, but just that one will think, “how interesting that I thought that would be the most important thing forever.” Same is true with pieces of your identity; the pieces that have very sharp edges will be relegated later for something else and in retrospect one will think, “how interesting that being good at X was so important to who I thought of myself to be.”
An example: the summer camp where I met Sadie, where we lived for 6 years and brought 2/3 kids home to, is no longer important in my day to day experience or my identity.
We don’t live and work there anymore; I’m older and those sharp edges are duller; and more things are more important now, whereas that was won of the few things I made important for those 6 years.
So, things change. “That’s all they every do” – Dawes.
One should invest deeply and use experiences and things to shape ones identity, but one shouldn’t be surprised if those things are no longer what continues to receive your investment or shapes your identity some time in the future.
I think I’m okay with this. Especially because where we’re at in life now, and who we’re shaping our life with, has a very long time horizon and is not as heavily weighted on small details consisting in order to continue to thrive. That’s the good news: we’ve found deep roots that are healthy and not as easily affected by changes in the weather.