This was a revealing event for me. Maybe the most revealing point of reference for why I like to run.
Originally, I decided I wanted to run a sub-3 hour marathon. I picked Eugene in January 2026 and started training. I trained enough to get close enough to that goal while leaving enough on the bone to come home feeling hungry for more.
I ran 3:06:18.
I’m starting to think I could run 2:30.
I think that because I can be very delusional about what I want, ascribe a certain object importance to it (delusion), and then work on that desire, that goal, with a single focus to try and get there. But, that’s been sleeping in me for quite some time now. Probably since late high school, early college, soccer.
Some time in my twenties, in my adult life, I got soft in this direction. Traded trying hard for some kind of perceived merit in being stoic, being content with medium effort over medium goals.
But now I’m thinking, what if I get delusional and pick out some big interest goals and start working hard on those?
Why not?
I am very serious about what I’m saying.
This would be a massive reordering of my priorities; what I eat, what I drink, when I sleep, and most importantly all the things I don’t do in order to be devoted to a thing.
I think here, this is where you find God.
This is where you find yourself. Really, your self.
I think I’m going to start trying hard.
And tell people that I’m trying hard. And when they look at me funny for telling them what I’m trying hard on, forget about it and try even harder.